kenna

Just another gripe about the less than average quality of the bathroom at the workplace…

If I am in stall 2, just go to 3,4,or 5.  Thats it, period.  Why do you want to pee and or poo so close to me.  That stinking bathroom with the backed up drain and poor air circulation is bad enough as it is.  And, if you want to get down to it, i really can take enormous dumps with you right there if you really want me to, but you know what? i bet you don’t.  so please, just give me some space to do my business.

Yeah you!  The one unloading the groceries into the 4 wheel drive vehicle that has never been off of pavement and your second and now empty grocery cart is in the parking space next to you - yeah its me, the one in the goldish car- right there to your your right, i am sure you see me attempting to pull into that parking spot (right next to you) while your daughter just stands there looking and me and the grocery cart and doesn’t move it.  i am just right here, see me? yeah, you don’t have to acknowledge me for me to know you must be able to know that i am there and have made the decision to just ignore me, make me back out, and find a different spot.

well you know what, i don’t like you one bit.

So, we finally got to go to the fair yesterday.  It was depressing because we only had one afternoon to see it all so it was an all out fair fest.  I suppose if we would have went to bed at a more decent time the night before we could have gotten there a little earlier, but hey, it was Jackfest, how can you go to bed with entertainment like this:

First we absolutely had to go see the trains.  Its just one of those things.

Of course after that we had to check out the big bull with large balls.  I mean you have to get those balls in early…

bull:

balls:

Shortly after this picture was taken he was lo

After then having to pee, losing kelly, having a small panic attack, feeling like everyone was watching me….we headed to the avenue of the breeds.  It was kind of a bummer because the emu, elk, and pygmy goats were already gone and oh how I wanted to see them.  I did however see this sexy mama and well frankly she scared me.

We then had to , haad to, see the big boar and well he was actually cute, kind of like chuck.

After a few other random sights we decided to hit up pioneer hall, so why not take the sky glider right?  well how about because you are suspended by a wire and a little hook thing that doesn’t even go all the way around it and if it fell you would die.  how about that reason?

So we looked at records and I got my name in the linotype.  We then went and met up with Kelly’s ma.  We just kind a bunch of not much for awhile.  The stupid dumb DNR thing was closed early so we didn’t get to see that.  I did however walk past ol Don….

(I didn’t really want his picture that big but it wouldn’t let me do it the other way ok???)  He actually had a younger sounding voice than i do. 

Well after all of this we just HAAD to get a glimpse of the state fair record pumpkin, I mean WHO WOULDN”T???

After such an exhausting moment he had to take a rest by the swamp cooler…

And that was about it for your average day at the fair…..

I am officially getting DSL and internet capabilities TOMORROW.  what a joy….

If it bothers you so much to touch cheek to toilet seat that you must “hover” over the toilet resulting in you peeing all over it, think about how much it probably bothers me to actually touch check to your pee when I go to use the restroom and you have pi&&ed all over the seat.  Just turn around and check, hey, is there any of my pee there? if so, just wipe it up and I will never know the difference and the laugh is on you.

If you don’t start soon I will be forced to start dripping a little of my pee in the container of your pain in the butt seat covers you are always leaving around on the toilet and floor, or hanging out of the wastebasket.  If you think about it, leaving those all over the place and forcing people to touch them is really just as bad as touching the toilet seat with your butt while peeing.  It actually defeats the entire purpose of using the disposable seat cover to start with.

So anywhoo, if you want war then that is what you will get.  A pee war.

So it has come to my attention that I have left out a few quite important posts of lately.

First we should mention ol Jeff’s little bday shindig.  He’s got a Wheeling feeling ya know?

It was at my very most unfavorite bar - rymes with stink and starts with doctor - but one has to venture into the jungle some times in life to visit friends.  Thats right Jeff, you’re in the jungle baby.

I was in the midst of a rare but serious chocolate and salt craving a couple of days ago and decided to confront the vending machine.  As I stand there staring thinking to myself, “I can’t believe I am going to pay a freaking dollar for a candy bar that will just give me a belly ache”… I saw something new.  Take 5.  The bar looked larger than others, had the word pretzel on it, how could I go wrong?  So I push the buttons for this take 5, and you know what I get?  I cheap piece of crap.  thats what I got.  First off it wasn’t even a bar, it was three little squares at the rate of 33.33 cents a piece.  Each one weighed about as much as one of the backs of my earrings and did nothing to satisfy the craving before the stomach ache set in.  I say we start an anti take 5 revolution.  I mean it.

I fell out of a window

a second story window

caught my eyebrow on the window sill, the sill

go get the axe!

the baby’s got a mustache

and the boy’s best friend is his mother

you’ve been drinking moonshine whiskey

oh no i havn’t!

absense makes the heart go fonder

garlic makes the breath grow stronger

peroxide makes the hair grow blonder

my father shot a horse,

YEE HAW.